A long year

Now you are done with all your exams, this means 1 year has gone! I have to say this is a really long year.  It is long because there were so much up and down that we have gone through. 

For the last 7 months, I really have given you all my love.  Because of this, I’ve been so easily got hurt.  There are times I really thought you love me so much, but there are also time I was a little skeptical about what you said. 

In March, I made the most reluctant decision in my life to give up this relationship since I was really under immense stress and pain.  I really couldn’t handle any longer.  It’s not like what you repeatedly said I could suddenly bring her back.  I felt even more pain making this decision but you would never understand. 

I really thought it was all over, but the reality is once again we can’t separate.  We just cried and cried and we the knew we need each other.  Since then, you have changed 360 degree and I felt that you cared me more especially you changed for me in many ways.  However sometimes you over-look something and this led to a big problem and really hurt me so much.  What you said recently recently hurt me a big time and I really need time to recover.

We do have a lot of happy time together and it is unfair just to mention all the sad things.  However, I am a sensitive guy who can easily lose expectation and hope if I am disappointed too often.   I do want to love you with all my heart and that’s what I’ve been doing.  I really hope you can do the same for me and I am always your priorty.  I want to gain expectation on you like in the beginning when you made a promise.  I want to have the same smile from heart again.  I know you can make this happen, since I can see you are trying really hard.

Love you LaoPo

LaoGong

Future…..

been surfing around and came across this….

http://www.roswellpark.org/Education/Graduate_Education/Departments/Cancer_Pathology_and_Prevention/Overview

looks interesting as it deals with cancer research

hehehe…..

feeling down & unwanted

it’s not easy to put what i m thinking into words…. n i wonder when will u read this post

these days, come every weekend or your off days i’ll just become an option

someone whom u can call, msg or talk to only when ur wife is not ard

i know i m in no position to ask for anything but i can’t help feeling bad

i can’t call u whenever i miss u so much and this kind of feeling is terrible

it just seems like u no longer need me since u have ur wife with u by ur side

she share every min and sec with u, from having breakfast, lunch n dinner together to sleeping together and even having ***

but what can i do? i can only wait for ur calls or msg

even if msg it’s those in a hurry kind

you expect me to stay good and go out less with him but on the other hand u spend everyday with ur wife

i know u’ll say u dun have a choice but have u ever thought of how bad i feel? sob sob….

sigh…. what can i do or expect when i m just a 情妇？

do u understand the pain of having to wait for ur msg everyday?? the constant paranoid thinking that my phone is ringing even as i m sleeping.

i jump out of bed whenever i heard my phone ring hoping that it’s you.

last night i got so paranoid that i woke up at 5ish thinking that my phone rang but in fact it didn’t

guess u’ll never understand the pain n paranoid thinking i m going thru now cos u have ur wife by ur side. i really can’t help crying.

i feel so terrible that i really can’t get my mind into studying. the constant thoughts of u is enough to occupy my mind.

i m really tired and can’t take it anymore. sob sob….

tears fill my eyes and roll down my cheeks as i type this post….. hope u can feel the pain as u read thru this. but again, the feelings may not be the same again  cos i dunno when will u be reading this.

Good luck on your exams

I know there are many things going on recently but I hope you can stay focus on your exams and do well.  I am always here if you need someone to talk to. 

-Laogong

About the future…

LG, was surfing ard for US college and came across this

http://wings.buffalo.edu/smbs/cls/biotech-ms.html

hehehehe…..

Protected: New Curls

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

What our names mean?

What Joe Means 

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed… even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What Stephanie Means

You are the total package – suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don’t always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don’t have as much going for them as you do.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless – and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You’re most comfortable when you’re far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people’s problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you… especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You’re a strong person.

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

LP feels terrible

Decide to set this up so that we can both express our feelings and misses

guess this is a good way to communicate our feelings for we won’t be able to talk to each other much

i feel real bad whenever i couldn’t get u on your cell phone or call you whenever i miss you

it’s really driving me crazy

i try to keep myself occupied so that i won’t keep thinking about you and what you might be doing

i don’t like the situation we are in now but i know there’s nothing much i can do about it

i just wonder how long can i hold trying to keep our r/s under wraps

sometimes, i feel bad trying to break up ur family. sigh…..